From as young as I can remember I wanted to fit in. I always thought I was the odd bunny. I suppose I never thought I did fit in. I didn’t know who I was, some days I still wonder.
I never looked like the ‘cool’ girls at school. I had the most beautiful best friend. I felt I was alway in competition with her. She had gorgeous long blonde hair, she was skinny, her house was always neat and tidy, her mum was cool. She had the boys chase her. Maybe it was jealousy, envy or I just had zero confidence and self worth.
Looking back now. The ‘cool’ girls weren’t cool, the were horrible. I had a beautiful group of friends who were funny and supportive and always there. I had lovely hair, I wasn’t ‘fat’ but this was the beginning of some self image issues, I had a nice house, and THE BEST Mum. I had boyfriends…. so where did I get the feeling if not fitting in?
It’s funny how I so badly want to ‘fit in’ or ‘belong’ . In other words to be ACCEPTED. Feeling that I belonged or accepted was and still is a massive need for me. For me to feel I belong, I felt I needed to be like everyone else, where in fact that did not sit well with me internally. I was caught trying to be like everyone else and also wanting my individuality.
I struggled to fit into everyone else’s ‘world’, well I thought I had to fit into theirs. Why couldn’t I just be me and create my own world?
I actually needed to find people like me, rather than thinking about how was I was different. I needed to surround my self with people who had the same values, strengths, hobbies and outlook as me. Although I may add, it is also good to have people challenge you… so don’t get this mixed up with trying to only be with people who agree with you!
This is a good time to point out acceptance of others. Everyone has their own view on the world. Just like you have a view. You see the world through your glasses and as I mentioned in my post Creating Space we see the world through our our own filters. Acknowledgement or validation of someone else’s view will also strengthen acceptance, as well as potentially giving you an insight or understanding of how others see the world.
It seems that society can be so negative. Rather than building people up and complimenting or congratulating people, there can be so much hate, jealousy, tearing people down. When was the last time you said something nice to someone. Or tell your loved ones you loved them?
Back to how each other sees the world. We don’t know how the past has treated each other. You know even a work can trigger someone into feeling insecure, fearful, scared, upset or angry? It can also push them away and distance them from you. An action can have a rippling effect.
Before you start or keep worrying about fitting into someone else’s world. Create your own. Invite who you want to share your world with. Don’t be Simone you’re not m, just to ‘fit’ in. Stick to your beliefs and values.
Don’t be someone you’re not, just to please others. You’ll loose yourself. Trust me, I lost me.
Fe XO
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